I have been fired. No, that's not right. Let me try again.
After 10 weeks, I have been replaced in a job I did not seek, nor was I paid for, nor did I feel is my fulfilling Spirit-calling. So, why am I feeling relieved and sad at the same time???
This pastor's wife is called upon frequently to fill-in for a ministry vacancy. I have discovered that my Spirit-gift is being a glass of water: pour water out on a table and it pools in the gaps and crevices. I fill gaps and crevices. Just this last year we have had three ministry staff changes at church and guess who filled the gap for each one?
The problem with being a gap-filler is that when the gap is filled, repaired, realigned, redefined and the work of the Lord goes forward, I am left with the loss and grief of letting go of the ministry. It is painful for me to see any of my extended family go without, so I embrace the ministry as if it has truly been given to me by God for forever. For as long as the assignment last, I pray for the anointing and discernment to accomplish what God wants done. In order to do the work, I have to take possession of the ministry. It is my responsibility and assignment.
Letting go is hard. Now in His time, God has brought a lovely young lady to take my place. He has gifted and is equipping her for this ministry. She will 'increase'; I have to 'decrease'. At times like these, John the Baptist comes to mind. Reading again about him and his willingness to do the hard job and then know when to back off helps me to adjust my role. (Of couse, there was that business of getting his head cut off... he decreased, not quit being a voice for God!)
So, I guess I was not fired or replaced. I am finished with this assignment and ready to move on. What's next, Lord? (Please, not prison and my head cut off!)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Three Seconds Rule
Being a naturally clumsy person,I learned the 'Five-seconds Rule' early in life. 'If you drop something edible on the floor and you can retrieve it in five seconds, eat it anyway.' Say 'gross' if you want, that rule has saved many a parent food replacement costs and dealing with a disappointed and crying child. I have never died or been horribly sick from the 5-Seconds Rule.
It has taken me quite a bit longer to learn the much more important Three-Seconds Rule: 'If you keep you mouth shut for three seconds, then the Holy Spirit has a chance to direct your words.'
This is more than a variation of 'count to ten if you are angry'. For example, sometimes we say the dumbest things when we think something is funny. We can do great damage with our words when someone already feels inadequate or foolish. How about just taking three seconds for the Holy Spirit to build some compassion before we speak?
This is really a personal control and discipline rule. Wait three seconds before you respond to an angry person. Count three seconds before you correct the wait staff at the restaurant. Get to three seconds between every exchange in a serious or tense discussion.
If I observe the 3-Seconds Rule, the Holy Spirit just might get a word in edgewise! He can change my day, improve a relationship, stop an argument and just generally make me a nicer person.
blessing for the day!
It has taken me quite a bit longer to learn the much more important Three-Seconds Rule: 'If you keep you mouth shut for three seconds, then the Holy Spirit has a chance to direct your words.'
This is more than a variation of 'count to ten if you are angry'. For example, sometimes we say the dumbest things when we think something is funny. We can do great damage with our words when someone already feels inadequate or foolish. How about just taking three seconds for the Holy Spirit to build some compassion before we speak?
This is really a personal control and discipline rule. Wait three seconds before you respond to an angry person. Count three seconds before you correct the wait staff at the restaurant. Get to three seconds between every exchange in a serious or tense discussion.
If I observe the 3-Seconds Rule, the Holy Spirit just might get a word in edgewise! He can change my day, improve a relationship, stop an argument and just generally make me a nicer person.
blessing for the day!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
My hair is gray
While shopping for groceries at Wal-Mart the other day I noticed a lady looking at me intently. Now, this is not totally unusual because sometimes people see me peripherally when they come into contact with my husband, the pastor. Whether it is at a regular church worship time or at a funeral or wedding or hospital visit, they meet me but the focus is the pastor so they could recognize him but their recollect of me is fuzzy. That is perfectly okay with me. I have found you get away with more in the margins and in the shadows. (hehehe) I smiled at the middle aged lady and went back to concentrating on which detergent was on sale.
Maneuvering around an end cap into the next aisle I saw the same brown-haired lady coming toward me again with a serious stare pointed straight at me. She was not looking at the many products on the shelves. I looked straight at her face this time and smiled. Travelling down the aisle toward her while putting items in my basket, I thought, "Oh, no! She probably attends church with us and I am suppose to know her!" Her eyes were kind and lightly lined, but drew a blank. Sometimes a person who sees that man up there preaching every Sunday is curious about what his wife looks like or is like. I tried to exude friendliness as my now almost full cart lumbered around another corner.
Ten minutes later, almost finished and the cart so full it is cumbersome to manage I round the frozen foods and head for the fresh fruits and vegetables. Thankfully I am almost done! Suddenly there she is again! She diagonally aimed her basket toward me from the meat case stopping six feet from my bulging basket. I still do not recognize her.
"Excuse me," she says as she leaves the safety of her half empty basket and reaches her hand out toward my head. "How do you do that? How do you get that color?" She almost touches my gray hair, pulling back just 12 inches from my face.
Now, there have been many a conversation between me and my hair dresser about whether we should color my hair. It is...was naturally a very dark brown, but now has grayed considerably around my face. The back has some gray but is in stark contrast to the front. Actually the gray is not gray at all but white. Krista, my wonderful hair counselor, says you cannot get that white out of a bottle.
So, there in Wal-Mart, me and this stranger discussed gray hair and the merits of dying or natural.
Life is strange sometimes.
Prov 16:31 'Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.'(NIV) I can only hope this is true.
Maneuvering around an end cap into the next aisle I saw the same brown-haired lady coming toward me again with a serious stare pointed straight at me. She was not looking at the many products on the shelves. I looked straight at her face this time and smiled. Travelling down the aisle toward her while putting items in my basket, I thought, "Oh, no! She probably attends church with us and I am suppose to know her!" Her eyes were kind and lightly lined, but drew a blank. Sometimes a person who sees that man up there preaching every Sunday is curious about what his wife looks like or is like. I tried to exude friendliness as my now almost full cart lumbered around another corner.
Ten minutes later, almost finished and the cart so full it is cumbersome to manage I round the frozen foods and head for the fresh fruits and vegetables. Thankfully I am almost done! Suddenly there she is again! She diagonally aimed her basket toward me from the meat case stopping six feet from my bulging basket. I still do not recognize her.
"Excuse me," she says as she leaves the safety of her half empty basket and reaches her hand out toward my head. "How do you do that? How do you get that color?" She almost touches my gray hair, pulling back just 12 inches from my face.
Now, there have been many a conversation between me and my hair dresser about whether we should color my hair. It is...was naturally a very dark brown, but now has grayed considerably around my face. The back has some gray but is in stark contrast to the front. Actually the gray is not gray at all but white. Krista, my wonderful hair counselor, says you cannot get that white out of a bottle.
So, there in Wal-Mart, me and this stranger discussed gray hair and the merits of dying or natural.
Life is strange sometimes.
Prov 16:31 'Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.'(NIV) I can only hope this is true.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tips: black flats
When I first started as a pastor's wife 16 years ago, I wish there had been a book of practical advice available to me. It would have helped me avoid some stupid mistakes and hard lessons. Maybe I should write a book. Not one of those super spiritual aids that say 'just pray harder and be holier', but a book that really lets you have insight and special information tailored for the pastor's wife or any woman in the ministry.
Here's one piece of information I could have used the first month of my tour as pastor's wife:
High heels sink in soft ground at gravesites. You need a pair of black, low heeled shoes for funerals.
Just two weeks after becoming pastor at Coweta, Gary was called upon to conduct a funeral for a relative in our church. Gary had not conducted many (I really think ANY) and I, as a dutiful and supportive wife, took off work to go with him and help with the dinner.
This relative lived in Porter, OK. There are more than a few, shall we say, 'underpaved' streets in the town of Porter. When we turned off the main thoroughfare onto a single laned roughly paved street, I thought for sure we had turned onto someone driveway. It was so narrow that if there had been a vehicle coming the other way, both would have had to drive on the grass. It was the only access to the town cemetary. The snowy remains of a winter storm puddled in the many ruts and potholes on that cold February day. As we turned into the entrance of the cemetary the road gave up any pretense of paving. There were no sidewalks, gravel paths, paths cut by animal tracks... nothing.
A sharp wind ripped at my coat as I had exited the car making the tempature feel colder than the thawing ice and snow foretold. There it was. The funeral canopy situated over an open gravesite. It was a good fifty feet away in the middle of the cemetary. There was nothing between it and my high heeded black pumps than soggy, cold, mushy, sparse winter grass. As I hesitated, I asked God again if this is what He had in mind for me. Noticing my hesitation, Gary looked back, stretched out his hand and said, "Are you coming? Are you all right?" And again, this time in freezing mud up to my ankles, I had to recommit to being a pastor's wife.
Buy a pair of black flats. You can always change in the car on the way to the cemetary
Here's one piece of information I could have used the first month of my tour as pastor's wife:
High heels sink in soft ground at gravesites. You need a pair of black, low heeled shoes for funerals.
Just two weeks after becoming pastor at Coweta, Gary was called upon to conduct a funeral for a relative in our church. Gary had not conducted many (I really think ANY) and I, as a dutiful and supportive wife, took off work to go with him and help with the dinner.
This relative lived in Porter, OK. There are more than a few, shall we say, 'underpaved' streets in the town of Porter. When we turned off the main thoroughfare onto a single laned roughly paved street, I thought for sure we had turned onto someone driveway. It was so narrow that if there had been a vehicle coming the other way, both would have had to drive on the grass. It was the only access to the town cemetary. The snowy remains of a winter storm puddled in the many ruts and potholes on that cold February day. As we turned into the entrance of the cemetary the road gave up any pretense of paving. There were no sidewalks, gravel paths, paths cut by animal tracks... nothing.
A sharp wind ripped at my coat as I had exited the car making the tempature feel colder than the thawing ice and snow foretold. There it was. The funeral canopy situated over an open gravesite. It was a good fifty feet away in the middle of the cemetary. There was nothing between it and my high heeded black pumps than soggy, cold, mushy, sparse winter grass. As I hesitated, I asked God again if this is what He had in mind for me. Noticing my hesitation, Gary looked back, stretched out his hand and said, "Are you coming? Are you all right?" And again, this time in freezing mud up to my ankles, I had to recommit to being a pastor's wife.
Buy a pair of black flats. You can always change in the car on the way to the cemetary
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Dream Big
About three weeks ago, Gary, the pastoral staff and I attended Tommy Barnett's School for Pastors in Phoenix, Arizona. Of all the things I learned or that caused me to ponder and evaluate, one statement still rings in my ears and rattles around my brain. It may have been Pastor Barnett's son, Matt, who said, "If you are dreaming a dream that you can accomplish then you are not dreaming God's dream."
WOW!
What are my dreams? Are they God's dreams, too?
No answers yet; still just rattling and pondering.
blessings for the day...
WOW!
What are my dreams? Are they God's dreams, too?
No answers yet; still just rattling and pondering.
blessings for the day...
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Blessings....
'With blessings from me to you...'
That is the way all my communication is now sent. Email, blogs, phones, written mail or cards are all send with the bequest of blessings. We can bless one another and we can bless God. I choose to speak those blessings to you. I need to hear that someone loves me, thinks I'm grand or wishes the best for me. God appreciates my appreciation and praise. We were made like Him so I think we all need to hear and to say those words of encouragement.
Today, snow, sleet and ice dominates the weather. We can choose to complain and worry or we can choose to look at the beauty of the day. And it is beautiful! The cardinals at my feeders are happy for that extra seed today.
I cannot travel to OKC to celebrate my daughter's birthday, but a change in plans does not mean the whole day is a wash. It is a perfect day to spend with my husband cozied up in a warm home. The business of the day is interrupted but I will get a quiet day to finish a task, for me that means the taxes! Change can be a blessing.
I will choose to bless and to be blessed!
That is the way all my communication is now sent. Email, blogs, phones, written mail or cards are all send with the bequest of blessings. We can bless one another and we can bless God. I choose to speak those blessings to you. I need to hear that someone loves me, thinks I'm grand or wishes the best for me. God appreciates my appreciation and praise. We were made like Him so I think we all need to hear and to say those words of encouragement.
Today, snow, sleet and ice dominates the weather. We can choose to complain and worry or we can choose to look at the beauty of the day. And it is beautiful! The cardinals at my feeders are happy for that extra seed today.
I cannot travel to OKC to celebrate my daughter's birthday, but a change in plans does not mean the whole day is a wash. It is a perfect day to spend with my husband cozied up in a warm home. The business of the day is interrupted but I will get a quiet day to finish a task, for me that means the taxes! Change can be a blessing.
I will choose to bless and to be blessed!
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